so so sSOO much rot today. mold growing out of everything

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SURGERY AGAINST REAL LIMBS,
performed as part of Inner Beauty Parlor,
THIS TUESDAY, THE 22ND.. 6:45 @ Envoy...



(photos from 179 Canal St.'s Phantom Limb)

Michael died, lightning struck a tree that lit Regents on fire & burned down Jon Brogie's car, Solyi and I were robbed at gunpoint, Matt's ambulance was infested with thousands of tiny bloodsucker bugs; everything is leading up to the Total Solar Eclipse today, which is predicted to spread violence and turmoil across Earth.

Pregnant women are advised to stay indoors, schools start an hour late to prevent children from venturing out to gaze at the sun.

My sister is getting so famous. She says that Miley Cyrus is a diva bitch and Zac and Cody are boring and fat. I got to hang out with Drake Bell, who seemed completely sedated and has a rockabilly girlfriend!

dying forever never dead

The Pirates of the Caribbean was shut down for 45 minutes yesterday because some woman sprinkled something into the ride's water. The woman claimed that it was baby powder and then disappeared out the exit and was never seen again. No Disneyland spokesman confirmed anything, other than that they found it to not be hazardous. A lot of people believe that she was sprinkling a loved one's ashes. According to Al Lutz, "Security and the police finally arrived, and the ride was shut down on a busy afternoon of a holiday weekend. The ash was identified by the Anaheim Police as cremated remains, and the custodial department found most of it all over the "Captain's Quarters" scene in the caverns. The woman had done a very thorough job of spreading the ash everywhere though, and after an hour of cleaning with the HEPA vacuums there was still work to be done. Because those lavish sets are maintained by costumers and maintenance crews that don't come in until Midnight, and with a growing crowd of cranky tourists outside wanting to know when Pirates would reopen, Disneyland management was faced with the decision of reopening the popular ride with ash remaining on the bedspreads, props and antiques in the caverns." Without written permission, it's a misdemeanor violation of the state Health and Safety Code to scatter human ashes on private property. Disneyland Resort spokeman Rob Coughty said, "I can tell you that we do get people from time to time asking for permission to sprinkle ashes. Our policy is when we are asked for permission, we deny the request. Beyond that, we don't know." Apparently, its getting really popular to spread ashes in Disneyland (according to Al Lutz and David Koenig). Al Lutz claims that "To respond to this growing problem, Disneyland's custodial department recently had to purchase special vacuums with very sophisticated HEPA filters that can capture the gritty ash of human remains while also capturing the small bone fragments that can also be present after cremation. The Cast Members who work in Attractions know the code words when calling the custodial hotline, and they tell the custodial dispatcher that they need a "HEPA Cleanup" as soon as possible." Disney officials say they are unaware of any confirmed ash-scattering incidents in the park, and don't believe it to be a problem. COOL. I would want some of my ashes in Disneyland, but I realize that my remains would face the extreme efficiency of Disneyland Custodial Department, not happy immortality. Anways,
Christmas season at Disneyland has begun and they have added a brand new decoration; snow on the Castle! with a Snow Show snow fall three times a night.

winter is my favourite

DAT I IS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PMoVHW9XJI (embedded disabled, but you can go to this URL if you care to see some quality cinema)

Things I wish were still at Disneyland:

Mary Blair tile murals

The tile murals used to be in Tomorrowland. This one was titled The Spirit of Creative Energies Among Children. Now, they are covered by the Star Tours murals

I've heard that the new one is just a banner and that the Mary Blair tiles are still underneath, just hidden, but I don't know for sure. Tomorrowland used to be, arguably, the best land. After the 70s, it has been going and going downhill and now has been taken over by the annoying aliens from Toy Story. boo

Skull Rock

Disneyland needs way more Peter Pan references. Skull Rock wasn't anything special, you could eat there, but it looked so good! It was taken down in 1982 and the Dumbo ride uses that space now, which is a good ride I guess.

Dixieland Band

They were called "The Strawhats". I imagine that the music was really good.

Settler's Burning Cabin

This was one of the sites while riding the Sante Fe Railroad. The train narrator says, “Now, we’re heading into the true backwoods. Watch for Indians and wild animals near the water’s edge. This is the American West as it was a century ago. Our forefathers who tamed this great wilderness faced constant danger. And there, across the river, is proof—a settler’s cabin afire! The old pioneer lies nearby—the victim of an Indian arrow.” Obviously, if the settler would have just built his home on the friendly Indian Village side, he would have been fine. Idiot. There were a ton of other nonPC Indian attractions, like "Meet The Chief" where you could sit on a log and listen to an animatronic Indian Chief, the Indian War canoes, etc.

Main Street Flower Mart

All the flowers are plastic, but still colourful and pretty! Their slogan was “The world’s finest natural flowers not grown by nature”. Such a metaphor!

Submarine Voyage (thru liquid space)

The 2000 leagues under the sea submarines were better for so many reasons. Mostly, they were better looking and the ride had mermaids and sea serpents. The submarines were closed down for a really long time and just reopened as a Finding Nemo ride. Yes, I have been on it. I waited three hours (which I NEVER do at Disneyland) to go on it the first month that it opened. I was in line with a little boy who was dressed in a full body Nemo outfit, for some reason I didn't bring my camera? I am not the biggest Finding Nemo fan and wasn't expecting that much from the ride, but was pleasantly surprised. It begins with an informative tour through an Australian coral reef. The narrator tells genuinely interesting facts. Eventually, you see characters from the movie, who are a little bit annoying, but well done.. then you go into a volcano, which is the best part. I want mermaids.

Main Street Electrical Parade


soooo cool! The Main Street Electrical Parade was an insane parade of lit up floats based mostly on popular Disney movies, but also other self-referential things like Small World. It also had really good music. Apparently, it is now back as the Electrical Parade in California Adventure. I haven't seen it, but I'm sure the floats have an updated style and are based on more recent movies.

the old Parking Lot!

Besides having incredibly vivid and preciously excited childhood memories of the old Disneyland parking lot, I really miss it because it's space is now occupied by three things that I really don't like. 1) California Adventure, bleh! Totally not in sync with the point of Disneyland. Although they do have Muppet 3D there, which is cool because it's about Muppets, but not cool because it stars an awful little character that is not a Muppet. 2) Grand California Hotel or whatever, which is the hotel built for California Adventure. Doesn't make sense... if you're going to go all out like that, just stay at the Disneyland Hotel where you have the Neverland pool and Goofy's kitchen? duh. 3) Downtown Disney, which is unnecessary.

And I think everyone wishes the Tarzan Treehouse was still the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse.



Of coarse, my favourite things at Disneyland are the fireworks, It's A Small World, Splash Mountain, and the magical strawberries (other than spoiled smiley children with sticky teeth and Disney's morbid preoccupation with death).

The end of an era.